Never Dreamed
by Regency
Summary: AU. Fifteen years ago, Joe and Clarisse parted under tragic circumstances. Now, it's time for Mia to become her rightful self and they meet again.


Author: Regency

Title: I Never Dreamed

Summary: Back in the day, Joseph taught Clarisse to defend herself, only it ended in pain and disgrace for everyone. Now, years later, Joseph lives in America and is a close friend to Mia's mother. How will Clarisse react to seeing her former bodyguard again -- especially dating the mother of the heir? Will he still care after the way it all ended?

Author's Notes: Don't die. I know how you all feel about Joe with Helen. You'll be all right. This is a little on the quirky side and not my best, but enjoy.

Disclaimer: I love Princess Diaries, I don't own Princess Diaries.

* * *

"Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gé rard Renaldi was your father." 

"No, that can't be right, because that would make me…"

Clarisse nodded and gently set down her tea cup. "That's right. You are not only Amelia Thermopolis. You are Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia."

Her mouth hung open in horror. "Shut up!"

She ended her sip prematurely, looking scandalized. "Excuse me."

It was all downhill from there, ending a few moments later in Mia running top speed out of the Embassy gates. Wonderful, thought her grandmother. This was going well.

She advised her secretary Charlotte to have a guard drive her about from then on. They couldn't take a chance on harm coming to Genovia's only hope.

* * *

Mia sat crouched in her tower, with only Fat Louie to keep her company. She couldn't decide if she felt betrayed or scared; seemed like both. How could they keep such a big secret from her? It was her life and they'd made a huge choice without consulting her, which was totally not fair. Life was hard enough, let's add a crown and call her Ms. Genovia. She'd still be a geek; just a geek in diamonds. Somehow, she wasn't impressed.

She wanted to disappear more than ever. She didn't want to rule anything. She couldn't even command a podium. She got nauseous just talking to herself in the mirror. How could she speak to an entire country as their princess? She felt her veggie wrap making an encore appearance at the very thought. No! She would not be princess. Her mind was made up.

Suddenly, there a was a soft knock on her sliding trapdoor. She didn't answer and turned her nose up at the sound.

"Mia. It's Joe." Her eyes widened and she rushed to let him in. As soon as he made it all the way in, she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"They lied, Joe. My grandma came back and she told me that dad was a Prince and now, I'm Princess and I have to rule a country I've never even been to. But I don't want to!" she finished in one long breath.

He looked at her calmly, nodding at the appropriate points and tugging lightly at her hair. "I understand, princess."

Then she looked up at him, understanding dawning. He'd been in her life for as much of it as she could remember. He'd always called her princess. He said, he saw the royalty inside her.

Her eyes popped in bewilderment. "You knew, too! You knew, Joe. You're the only person in the world who's never lied to me and now, it turns out that you did too. Oh, man." Tears sprung into her eyes and turned away, wrapping her arms around herself. "Did my Grandma send you to make sure I didn't embarrass the family?" She snorted derisively. "Looks like you did a crappy job."

"Your grandmother did not send me, princess."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a princess."

"To me, you are."

"Mom lied. Everybody lied." She dropped down to her knees miserably.

He kneeled in front of her and lifted her chin. "We kept this from you because we wanted you to have a normal life." He took out a handkerchief and wiped her cheeks.

"But I'm not normal. I'm abnormal. I hate this." He rubbed her back as she collapsed against his shoulder.

"I know." They sat there for a while, the sun outside sliding farther from the center of the sky.

"If Grandma didn't send you, who did?"

"No one. I came on my own when you were small. I just wanted to see that you were all right."

She picked idly at his leather sleeve. "How did you know about me?"

"Believe it or not, I once worked for your grandmother."

She looked up in surprise. "In Genovia?"

He nodded. "In Genovia, in the palace."

"When?"

"Many years ago. I was her personal bodyguard."

"Wow."

"Not really."

"What happened?"

He shrugged. "Things." She glared steadily at him, with her grandmother's eyes. "Okay. A misunderstanding."

"What kind of misunderstanding?"

"Well, I decided long ago that my charge should be able to defend herself if I could not. From there, things got ugly."

Mia tilted her head, not quite understanding. "Ugly?"

"Doesn't even begin to describe it."

"Tell me."

"Well…" he thought back.

* * *

_A younger Joseph watched his charge, Queen Clarisse of Genovia mist her namesake roses. They were a light mauve, so classic. She held a bloom to her nose and breathed in its delicate fragrance. Delicate, so much like her._

_Her face contorted in upset as she spied a shorn stem. People came so inconsiderately and chopped her lovingly planted flowers. They never asked her permission. Didn't they see what these flowers meant to her?_

_With that in mind, a notion he'd long contemplated seemed appropriate for the moment. He approached her with the proposal that he taught her self-defense. The way a smile spread across her lips and she laughed told him how seriously she considered such a thought. Queens did not have to learn self-defense. That's why they had guards._

_He waited for her mirth to die down before making his case. No one else would have to know. He would teach her. Seeing his unchanged expression, she grudgingly agreed. Why, she'd never know._

_They began the very next day, using the enclosed throne room to train. He tested out her natural instincts and was left with a struggle not to laugh at its ineffectiveness. She did not appreciate his humor and pinned him to the gymnastic mat with unladylike force. They worked from that._

_It took her a bit to let go of her manners and begin to fight. He provoked her, taunted her until she saw red. He threatened the lives of her children. After that, she got real. He learned that from the hard way as she landed an elbow in his chest, one of the many techniques he taught her._

_For weeks, he trained her, watching with satisfaction as she slipped more and more easily into survival mode. Her prim frame became firmer and stronger, though not masculine. She retained her grace. She could never beat him, but she could hold her own. He was proud of that.

* * *

_

Mia dozed against his shoulder, though she listened as attentively as possible. She rubbed her itchy eyes and stretched.

"I don't understand. You taught Grandma self-defense. What's so bad about that?"

"That's not where the trouble came."

She perked up. That sounded interesting. "Where did the trouble come, then?

To her displeasure, they were interrupted by her mother's call before he could continue. Apparently, Grandmere had arrived at the firehouse. She rolled her eyes, fully prepared to hide in her tower.

To her surprise, Joe nudged her towards the trapdoor. "Go."

"But--"

"She is a queen and she has asked for an audience with you. You're doing her a favor. Not the other way around."

"But I don't want to talk to her."

"We've taught you better than that. She's gone out of her way." Mia nodded, feeling severely chastised. Both Joe and her mother had taught her manners supreme. She tugged her at her hair and nudged her glasses. She did not feel like being judged by Madame.

She slid the door back and peaked down her spiral staircase. Her Grandma sat on her bed, looking rather uncomfortable amongst the dishevelment. Man, she wished she'd cleaned her room. Her mom stood at the foot of the ladder, her face tolerant but not happy. Mia winced as she remembered how badly her mom got along with her grandmother. This was hell for all concerned.

"Mia, come down now."

Feeling stubborn, she shook her head. "Not right now."

"Mia--"

"Amelia, please, we really must talk" her grandmother interjected.

"I'd rather not, Grandma. I'm talking to Joe and Fat Louie."

"Um, whom?" she asked perplexed, looking at Helen, Mia's mother.

"Joe is…he's a friend of mine. He's been around since Mia was young. Fat Louie is the family cat."

She inclined her chin in false understanding. Helen had a male-friend. How quaint.

"Amelia will be right down, Helen, your Majesty."

Clarisse's blood ran lukewarm as she heard that deep, resounding voice. It couldn't be him. She would know if he were here. But from hearing him, she was nearly certain. But not completely.

After all, she'd been wrong before.

* * *

_One night, exhausted from her daily royal duties and then her training with Joseph, the queen lay slumbering deeply in her suite. She had hardly had the energy to change into her nightclothes, she was so spent. _

_To her misfortune, fatigue did not add up to a peaceful night's sleep. Around three that morning, she rolled dully out of bed and retrieved her night robe. She was weary to the bone, but her mind wouldn't rest. As she was about the leave the suite, a scream rose somewhere in the palace, followed by gunfire and commotion. The guards stationed on the floor disappeared to the ends of the halls, leaving her alone at her door._

_She looked around fearfully for her bodyguard Joseph, but he was not to be found. She shut the doors and retreated to her bedroom to wait for him. All of the sudden, every light went out. There was complete darkness as there was no moon that night. She laid in wait in her dressing room, praying that Joe would come. Survival mode refused to engage. Absence of light had not been a scenario she was trained in._

_Her fingers thinned in fear and she clutched at her knees, attempting vainly to make herself smaller. She heard the doors swish open urgently and she prayed that it was her loyal Joseph._

_"Your Highness," the voice called. She exhaled in relief and revealed herself as best she could._

_"I'm here, Joseph." She sensed him coming ever closer._

_"Thank goodness, your Majesty. I was concerned." His hand wrapped around her wrist._

_At that moment, it all felt wrong. His voice wasn't quite right and his touch was entirely off. He never dragged her the way this man was. He guided her gently on her way. What had happened?_

_"Joseph, what's happening?"_

_"Nothing you need to be concerned about, Clarisse." His voice caressed her name in a way that left her feeling unclean. Who was this?_

_"What about the king? Is he all right?"_

_"Of course."_

_She put a firm stop to their departure. "Perhaps, we should stay here…to wait for further information." He halted and slid an arm around her waist, holding her close in an improper way. He smoothed the satin from her shoulder to her hip. She shuddered as her skin crawled. "Joseph, I'm not comfortable…"_

_"Now, don't worry about that, Clarisse."_

_"But I…" He held his hand over her mouth and she slackened under the power of ether. He caught her in his arms and whisked her away in the dead silence of the overwrought palace._

_Of all those to betray her, she never thought Joseph would be the one.

* * *

_

Mia stepped down the ladder, followed by Joe holding Fat Louie in his arms. They passed her mother and descended the staircase with Helen following until they all stood in Mia's bedroom staring at one another.

Joe looked over Amelia's shoulder, clearly wearing a protective expression. Clarisse shifted on the bed, not used to his giving her such an unwelcoming look. It seemed that even the cat was against her. She was one of among the dragons it seemed.

"Well, perhaps we can speak as mature people now." She was sure she could feel Joe glaring at her. How was she to know that when he departed from Genovia he would come to San Francisco to guard her granddaughter? There was no way at all she could've guessed. To be honest, she had never expected to see him again.

* * *

_She peeked into the door to see Joe packing his things hurriedly, but precisely to be sure he didn't leave anything behind. He limped noticeably and held his side carefully giving notice that he'd been injured there. She had heard that the guards in the building had not taken too kindly to his abducting and molesting their queen. They had taken the feelings of anger and betrayal out on him. Even when asked, he would not reveal their names, stating that he would take that to the grave. Their frequent beatings had brought him terribly close to that grave. Not to mention, that the penalty for assaulting heads of state was death. _

_He had never revealed the truth, even in the face of an overwhelming mistake. Her mistake. She should've known better._

_"I'm sorry, Joseph."_

_He paused in his preparation, but did not cease._

_"For what, Majesty?" He dare not call her 'his' queen again._

_"For being so terribly wrong. I should've known that you would never betray me…or harm me."_

_"You are human."_

_She nodded at his back as he refused to see her or meet her eyes._

_"I wish you would reconsider staying on as my guard."_

_"That would not be prudent, your Highness. I feel I have outstayed my welcome here at the palace, and in Genovia for that matter. I must depart at once."_

_"There is nothing I can do to change your mind?"_

_He shook his head in the negative._

_"You are an amazing woman, your Majesty. It has been an incredible honor to serve in your court."_

_She stepped toward him and laid her hand on his back lightly, recalling how his back tensed painfully beneath the hardly perceptible touch. She wasn't the only one abused._

_"Will you ever return?"_

_"It is not the plan."_

_She closed her eyes in silent grief for the companion she would lose in him. "However as you know, my queen, fate does as it wishes."_

_"It does."_

_With his bags packed, at last he turned to her to see her once battered face returned to royal perfection. He now bore the brunt of another's punishment. She lost her breath to guilt. She reached up and rested a hand upon his bruised cheek._

_"I hope to see you again." He kissed her palm with restrained reverence._

_"Fate will do…" he left it at that. Holding all of his earthly possessions in his hands, he bowed and set off to another life._

_Leaving her behind.

* * *

_

They sat around the kitchen table, sipping tea from oversized tea cups and attempting to have a civil conversation. She had far too much…or far too little history with everyone there. However, despite that they managed to beat out some sort of deal to ensure that Mia would at least be cooperative. She would make no decision until the night of the Genovian Independence Day Ball. Until then, she would receive lessons on the proper way for a princess to behave. Surprisingly, she already had a head start, thanks to Joe.

Since she was six-years old, he'd been training her to rule. She never even realized. Though still gawky and awkward; she retained the knowledge of the Genovian Dansun -- or Wango -- as he'd been teaching her for a decade. Her posture would straighten on command and she knew what not to wear, she simply chose to wear it anyway. Also, the nail biting habit had been knocked out by nine. She was seven parts princess, three parts to be continued

Clarisse was slightly displeased to find that her former friend had done much of her job for her. How many opportunities to bond had he stolen from her with his foresight? How could he possibly know?

She found herself using their lessons as opportunities to find out more about his life in the last fifteen years. In the beginning, Mia was less than forthcoming about the man who was like a father to her. She would only reveal to her grandmother that her mother and he were very close -- very close. A hot flush had assailed her cheeks at that revelation.

"Your mother isn't a bit young for him?" The look Amelia had sent unquestionably ended that portion of the conversation. It was obvious that the protectiveness went both ways. There's was no way she'd ever scale the walls of the family unit they'd built. She had to admit that they'd raised her well. She was very nearly a perfect princess as she stood.

As she watched her darling Amelia bloom before her, she felt a loneliness stir within her. Since Joseph's departure, she had yet to place someone else in that role of her life. There was no one else she trusted as she'd trusted him. And so all the emotions she would have vented with him remained hidden inside. Seeing him again pushed the parameters of her tightly-reigned control to their breaking points. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. How fond of him she'd become again.

That fondness grew to a genuine affection when he brought Mia to the Independence Ball at the last possible to second to accept her crown. She had barely managed to not kiss him for it. She had somehow restrained herself.

That is, until she realized that he was not seeing Mia's mother, who was dating the girl's debate teacher. Joe and Helen were close as father and daughter, but nothing more. She was appalled at her own jealousy. Apparently, news of their convoluted relationship had made its way between them and they'd felt the need to mess with her. She had managed a nice hah. She was not amused and toyed with the idea of having him removed from the consulate, but decided that the threat of his taking Mia with him wasn't worth it.

She'd simply have to learn to live with him. She'd done it for six years once before, she could do it again. In fact, she didn't mind as much this time around.

So when she found him watching Mia wistfully from the side of the room, she didn't hesitate to go to him. His gaze set briefly on her before returning to observing the little girl --nearly a woman now-- he'd helped to raise. As she stood beside him, she greatly regretted missing the years leading to where they stood. Once again, she envied their closeness -- and missed that which they two had shared once.

"She _is_ beautiful." She could not think of truer words to speak.

Joe smiled proudly, nodding once.

"She is that." He exhaled softly, a note of sadness clouding his eyes. "She is Phillipe."

Clarisse tilted her head and took in the energetic motion of the young woman--her arms extended towards heaven, her lips parted in a free-spirited smile, the adoration of all who surrounded her in hand -- to find that he was completely right. It was her son, alive and well, living on in the piece of his soul he could not help but leave behind.

Sorrow chipped at the contentment she'd managed to achieve tonight and she had to look away from the heartening sight of her nation's heir at play to preserve her façade.

Her heart leapt when a hand she'd recognize in the dark of hell took possession of her own and tenderly squeezed. The strength was there, the will…and the loyalty. She followed its well-tailored path until she met the eyes of her beholder. Joseph -- the man she had betrayed, distrusted, and nearly aided in the execution of -- pled his allegiance to her. Again. There were no words this time and she was grateful; she could not have spoken if her very survival counted on it.

"Would Her Majesty care to take a leisurely stroll?"

She was close to a loss for words, but she mustered her composure and nodded, regally.

"I would like that very much, Joseph."

He smiled and led her through the throng of youth, with their rising racket, and into the elegant solitude of the embassy's hallways.


End file.
